The natural thing to do when a neighbor complains about dog barking is to get defensive. “My dog? Causing a problem? How dare you?!”
Don’t go there. Defensiveness exacerbates hostilities, escalates tension, and encourages your neighbor to make a mountain out of what you perceive to be a molehill. Remember, it’s all about perception, and your neighbor’s perception is his reality. Instead of being defensive, try these things:
1. Listen intently to your neighbor’s complaint.
Unless one of you plans to move, defusing the situation beats all-out war. Set defensiveness aside, and listen to what your neighbor says. Assume there’s some nugget of truth to his complaint. You need to find it, so you can figure out what to do with it. He says your dog barks all the time, underneath his bedroom window, and wakes him up. That may be an exaggeration, but chances are your dog is barking some of the time, especially if you leave her out in the yard, or if she has free backyard access through a doggie-door.
2. Empathize and apologize for your dog barking.
Without admitting guilt, empathize with your complainer. “It must be frustrating to have to listen to barking dogs when you’re trying to sleep.” Be sincere. Tell him you’re sorry he’s being disturbed by barking. Reassure him that you don’t want your dog to be a nuisance, and you want to help find a solution to his concerns. Ask him to bear with you while you work on the problem. Bake him chocolate chip cookies.
3. Investigate your dog’s nuisance behavior.
Ask questions that won’t make your neighbor defensive. “Is there a time when it’s most annoying?” “Are there other dogs that are barking too?” “Other than giving up my dog, what would make you happy?” Set up a video camera or voice-activated tape recorder to document your dog’s activities when you aren’t home. Alternatively, take a day off and watch your own house from a distance, to see what goes on that might make your dog bark. Check the neighborhood to see if there are other dogs whose barking might be blamed on your dog. Ask other neighbors if they hear your dog, and if so, when and how much.
4. Respect all community dog laws.
Make sure your dog is currently licensed, and obey all local animal control laws. Maybe your neighbor is complaining because your dog runs loose and he feels threatened (even though you know your dog is a pussycat), or because you don’t clean up when you take her for walks. Those are legitimate grounds for complaint (as is excessive nuisance barking) even if your dog is a pussycat. You don’t want animal control to find you in violation of anything. Obey leash laws and scoop laws, and respect your neighbor’s discomfort with your dog – don’t let her off-leash even if you’re just walking out to your car. If she runs over to happily greet him, you’ll fuel the fires.
5. Take action to modify your dog’s behavior, and your own behavior.
Make changes to accommodate your neighbor and protect your dog. If his complaint is early-morning noise and she’s barking when you let her out at 6:00 am while you shower, alter your routine. Get up earlier and go out with her. Let her eliminate, then play with her. Keep her quietly occupied rather than leaving her to find her own entertainment. If it’s random throughout-the-day backyard barking while you’re away, bring her in and close the dog door. She doesn’t have to be outside all day. If things get ugly, leaving her out unattended exposes her to great risk from an irate neighbor. If necessary, pay someone to let her out for a noon potty break. If the complaint is about barking even when you are home, behavior modification is in order. (See “Modifying Your Dog’s Barking Behavior“.) If it’s something other than barking, determine how you can modify the situation to mitigate the problem. Some examples:
-Your dog charges the fence. Your neighbor fears for his children’s safety. Make the fence solid, or put up an inner fence so there’s an “airlock” between dog and kids. See, “Solve Fence Aggression with a Better Designed Dog Fence,” for more info on fencing.
-Your dog came over and attacked his dog. You think your dog was just playing, but whatever. Vow that your dog is never off her leash in your neighborhood. Even just walking to your car.
Keep your neighbor informed of your efforts to address his concerns. Document your actions in a journal in case you do have to face animal control. Ask your neighbor to let you know if he sees improvement – and document that. Save receipts for anything you buy to modify your dog’s environment. If you see your neighbor deliberately antagonizing your dog, document that with a video camera. Keep your dog safe. Be considerate. Keep baking chocolate chip cookies.
My neighbor is threatening to have our dog removed from the home because she has major separation anxiety. She doesn’t cry outside, she only cries (maybe even howls?) while she’s inside and all alone. She probably cries most of the time that everyone is gone. We haven’t had a complaint from any of the other neighbors that we live in close proximity to, which is strange because the neighbor on the other side of us is very snoopy. So if she is as obnoxious as he says then why isn’t anyone else bringing this up? But I no longer live in the house. Before I left my ex we had three dogs. I took two and he kept one. We just broke up a couple months ago after a 6 year relationship. All our dogs are rescues and the one he kept is the most emotional and sensitive out of them all. She had a really hard past and was in terrible condition when we rescued her. She is a happy girl when she has someone with her. She is so distraught now that her mom and her babies are no longer in the house with her. My ex goes to work and that’s when she cries and cries. The next door neighbor is now saying that we’ve been abusing her for years which is totally insane and such a hurtful thing to say about people who advocate for rescuing animals. We LOVE our pets like they’re our children. He says he will not give up until our dog is removed from the house. This is devastating to us as the breakup has already been so difficult on us and our pets. Our dog has been through so much she would be devastated if she had to be re homed yet again and so would we. How do you punish a dog who has separation anxiety and who is a rescue with emotional issues? When nobody is there to tell her no? I feel like this guy is taking out all his anger on us. He sits outside and listens to her and leaves his front door wide open in the middle of the summer. Why would he do that if he doesn’t want to
Hear her crying? He walked up on our front porch last night, was super disrespectful to my ex’s Dad, then got in my ex’s face and was threatening him. Our neighbor just moved in with his new wife, they have three kids, who we used to see all the time and now we never see them. I’m literally concerned about the well being of his family. This guy seems like he’s losing his grip and it’s really scary. It’s difficult to reason with someone when they’re so aggressive. We’re at a loss right now and I can’t stop crying. The thought of losing her is killing the me. Please help with any suggestions on how to help our dog feel at ease when nobody is home? I can’t stop crying I already feel so bad for taking the other dogs and leaving her confused.
Find a competent animal behaviorist/trainer and have them work with your dog to help solve her issues and follow the trainer’s advice. Your neighbors should not have to keep their doors and windows closed and be trapped inside their home, not able to sit on their own porch because of your dog, whether your dog is inside your home or not. Quite frankly, your neighbors are probably at the end of their own rope after having to listen to the dog crying every day when no one is there at home with her. Fix the problem, don’t blame the neighbors who have a very valid complaint.
I’d rather listen to a dog bark for a few minutes, then hear R.A.P. music and kids screaming. It makes me sick the way dogs are always targets for creeps. So what if a dog barks sometimes. That’s a normal part of life. Their damn kids scream and run around any time they feel like it. The laws are very wrong and very unfair. I’m sure a lot of wonderful dogs have lost their homes and been killed because of these complaining, selfish creeps. If you have a dog or dogs, you’re a target for all these selfish, complaining scum. They awful people know that dogs don’t have any legal rights, so they go after them. I damn them all to hell. I hope them and their stupids kids drop dead.
Naw, that’s sugarcoating.
Stupid people, that have dogs that bark loud enough to wake a neighborhood at 3am are not “good people”, as simple as that. Argue if you want, but you are wrong and you know it. Fucking bullies. Take care of your dogs, is all I am saying.
why should anyone be forced to listen to either? the crimes of others justify your nasty selfish behavior?
you make zero sense
I have a neighbor who has become obnoxious about my dog barking. In order to address her complaint I only let my dog who barks out in the yard 3 times/ day for 15 minutes each time. I had been simply letting her run around the yard. I’m thinking I’ll make it a more controlled thing, and put her on leash. In addition, I also prepaid thousands of $$ for 1/ doggie day care and 2/ for our 2 dogs to go to a doggie play group once/ week. Yesterday my 2 dogs were outside and the woman yelled at me to make my dog stop barking. She had been outside less than 5 minutes. I took my dogs inside, but also yelled at her pretty aggressively.
I’m not trying to skirt the law here, but it seems to me that letting my dog run around in her yard 3 times/ day isn’t excessive. In addition, my husband has an office nearby, and on tuesdays the dogs are at his office all day because our cleaning people are here on Tuesdays.
I probably should not have lost my cool. But when she yelled across the canyon for me to shut my dog up/ I was furious. So the one time my dog went outside yesterday, this woman lost her mind?
I never ever allow my dogs to bark prior to 10 am. And most days I try to arrange for them to be out of the house to avoid confrontations. But really, there are occasions when the dogs are here, and I think it’s ridiculous that I can’t let them be outside on such a limited basis. Am I being unreasonable?
We also never allow our dogs outdoors after 5 pm. So our barker may be out at 10 am/ 1 pm 4 pm ? It seems to me that allowing a dog out this frequently for a 15 minute break should not be against the law. We live in a private house, and neither neighbor either side of us has ever complained about our dogs. We have another neighbor who does leave her dog outside from 9 am – 5 pm, and I never hear the rude woman screaming at her. I have, however, been told by various other neighbors that they resent her leaving her dog outside all day every day. But it never bothered me.
sure – whatever – try working at home? ever think of that?
I do – I have been barked out of the front half of my house for years, stuck in a tiny semi-sound proofed area
and then I lost my business as I could never concentrate – because the non stop barking from 3 houses – during the day.
YOU ARE STILL RUINING OTHERS LIVES NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TRY TO CONVINCE YOURSELF OTHERWISER
I have a neighbor who has become obnoxious about my dog barking. In order to address her complaint I only let my dog who barks out in the yard 3 times/ day for 15 minutes each time. I had been simply letting her run around the yard. I’m thinking I’ll make it a more controlled thing, and put her on leash. In addition, I also prepaid thousands of $$ for 1/ doggie day care and 2/ for our 2 dogs to go to a doggie play group once/ week. Yesterday my 2 dogs were outside and the woman yelled at me to make my dog stop barking. She had been outside less than 5 minutes. I took my dogs inside, but also yelled at her pretty aggressively.
I’m not trying to skirt the law here, but it seems to me that letting my dog run around in her yard 3 times/ day isn’t excessive. In addition, my husband has an office nearby, and on tuesdays the dogs are at his office all day because our cleaning people are here on Tuesdays.
I probably should not have lost my cool. But when she yelled across the canyon for me to shut my dog up/ I was furious. So the one time my dog went outside yesterday, this woman lost her mind?
I never ever allow my dogs to bark prior to 10 am. And most days I try to arrange for them to be out of the house to avoid confrontations. But really, there are occasions when the dogs are here, and I think it’s ridiculous that I can’t let them be outside for 15 minutes, 3 times/day.
I just read through the comments and I will say, you dog people are insane! You guys really have something going on with the front of your brain. You love your dogs, we get it. You need to understand that they are not human! They are animals! They are extremely loud and the sound travels. Just because you love your dog and think its barking is fine, is totally insane to expect others to like it as well.
One thing I have noticed with irresponsible pet owners that let their dogs nuisance bark is they can not stand it when someone rides a motorbike, 5 minutes of kids riding a motorbike in their backyard drives these dog nuts insane, yet they just don’t get it about their dogs 🙂 leaving their dog howl and bark on and off all day or night is fine.
I will also say a dogs bark is louder and travels further then a cheap crappy 2 stroke motorbike YES ITS TRUE
Don’t you hate it when that old pensioner that owns all them yappy dogs, doesn’t have to work, is at home all day, can get off their bum to go to a fast food restaurant but can’t get off their fat bums to see why their dog is barking or maybe train it… These bludgers should not be allowed to have dogs!
Imagine if people went out in their front or back yards and screamed as much as dogs bark…
I have found a way to drive my neighbours crazy lol. When their dogs bark I discipline it by yelling at them or squirting them with the hose. When they come out having a fit about me disciplining their dog I inform them that I did not buy the dog so why should I have to put up with it? If you are too lazy to do something about your dog I will… They usually keep it inside because they don’t want me doing things to it.
Grow up dog people! Shut your dogs up. Who do you think you are? You don’t own the street! Yea your dogs might be barking on your property but what you don’t understand is you are doing it on my property as well… Get it? Probably not.
I have learned over the years that dog owners suck in general. We need better laws against them. Maybe at a federal level.
Very true
This has been fascinating reading, particularly the passions on both sides. But in this case as in all others, if one person’s liberty infringes upon the liberty of others, that person is in the wrong. I live next door to an elderly gentleman who got a Great Pyrenees five months ago. She’s barely a year old. She isn’t housebroken so she doesn’t go into the house with the owner. She’s huge and he’s frail, so her daily walk is three minutes from the bottom of a cul-de-sac where we both live to the top and back. The owner can barely restrain her. The rest of the time, she spends locked up in the garage, which faces my house. The owner keeps the garage door up a few inches for air circulation. Because this poor dog, who really is very sweet, is extremely lonely and bored out of her skull, she barks incessantly, any time of the day or night. She has a big rib case and her bark is deep and loud. I’d call what she does baying. She’s not in pain, she’s not hearing intruders, she calling out endlessly for someone to see her, to play with her, to talk to her. She gets practically zero exercise, as well. Please note that the retired owner is home the entire time this is going on. On the one hand, the dog breaks my heart. This is a form of animal abuse. On the other, the constant noise is affecting my mental health and shattering my concentration. I, too, have a dog; she never barks, but the barking from next door makes her anxious. I’ve spoken to the neighbor several times and also called him. He’s not interested in changing anything. (“There’s nothing I can do about it.”) So, there it is. I’ve recorded the dog many times and can demonstrate just how loud she is. I’ve kept a scrupulous log for six weeks of all the times she’s barked. Soon, I’ll send a certified letter that the owner has to sign for, just so he can’t say he wasn’t aware. I’ve canvassed the neighborhood and have the names of other neighbors who are also bothered. What I’m doing is building a case. When this virus is more under control and the courts open again, I’m suing him. Even if I win, the judge can’t force him to get rid of the dog. But the owner will have to pay to defend himself, and he might have to pay damages. If he refused to show up, he would get fined and I would win the case. If the barking is still not addressed, there is, apparently, no limit on the number of times I can take him to court. To be clear, I have no objection to the occasional joyful bark while playing, or yapping when seeing familiar faces, or when intruders are present. But this is something of an entirely different order. She won’t stop until she gets some company or stimulation, and the owner seems utterly uninterested in training her, either to be housebroken or to bark less. I’m baffled as to why he has a dog at all; he spend very little time with her. Some may think I’m being obsessive. Sometimes I’m in tears because I can’t get away from the noise. A dog of that breed can live another 11 years. I decline to simply accept that I have suffer 11 years of an incessantly baying dog because the owner is too selfish and inconsiderate (to me) and cruel (to her) to change the situation.
I say shut your fucking dog up or I will shut that mother fucker up for you. Permanently.
I have a neighbor who will bark and yell at my Heinz 57 mix dog. I calmly approached her the first time I caught her doing it when about a year after we moved in. I asked her what I could do for her and asked what was wrong. We talked and she said I can’t stand her barking all hours of the day. My dog is outside between the hours of 10 or 11am to 8pm I apologized and told her that we recently moved from a rural area. I told her she is a really sweet dog and is protective. I told her I would do what I can to keep her from barking. Again I kept catching her antagonizing my dog with yelling and barking at her. I again approached her and tried to calm my neighbor down and she started yelling and repeating something has to change…..I did try to explain that her acting aggressive towards my dog wasn’t helping the situation and that she is making it worse. When I’m outside my dog won’t bark at her she stays at my side and just lays there. But if noone is outside and the lady comes out she barks at her. Now the lady has called AC 4 times and each time the officer always says that I’m doing all I can. He says I’m not in violation. While he is here my dog won’t bark at him either. I dont know what else I can do.
I’ll tell you what to do ok… SHUT YA DOG UP, simple.
If you can’t shut it up or train it, get rid of it, Why should it be a burden or a nuisance to your neighbours?
I don’t get your thinking, whats the big problem? Its an animal not a human.
Yes you are in violation! Your dog is not allowed to bark at your immediate neighbour, you are supposed to have it trained. maybe keep it inside or get rid of it.
I have a new neighbor who has 3 dogs and no fenced yard… I have to walk about 300 ft to get to my mailbox past their house and also take my trash cans out and now I’m afraid as everytime they are outside they rush to our gate and start barking at us aggressively… the neighbors are being total jerks and don’t even apologize for their dogs behavior. Should I call animal control and just let them deal with it?