I have a number of friends (and a family member) who have dogs who are nearing the end of their days. I’m noting and processing the events and feelings they are experiencing – and hoping it is several years before I’m in a similar situation (my heart dog, Otto, will be 12 years old in November).
Beau
My sister and her husband have a really old Schnauzer-mix named Beau. He might even be a real Schnauzer. He’s so old, it’s hard to tell! They took in Beau when a friend in distress couldn’t keep him. The friend had gotten Beau as a puppy when her son was 10 years old, and that son is in his late twenties now, so… Beau is old. He has limited vision, limited hearing, has had several strokes and can’t walk a straight line, and is growing increasingly incontinent. On his bad days, it seems almost cruel that he is being kept alive. He may stagger or not be able to get up, he acts like he doesn’t know where he is and is anxious, and he may just suddenly completely empty his bladder on the carpet while standing still, seemingly unaware he is doing so.
But on his good days, he runs up the hall with the rest of his housemates, eats with gusto, goes outside through the dog door and potties without assistance or a reminder to do so, and enjoys his time on the sofa and in bed with his human and canine housemates. So they are very much afraid that if they call the vet to make a euthanasia appointment on one of his bad days, and he’s having a good day on the day of the appointment, the vet may decline to euthanize, or the staff may make them feel like creeps! In fact, they feel sort of pre-emptively guilty about even just talking about “Beau’s time.” My sister and brother-in-law love Beau and want him to have a good end. But when is the right time?
Chaco and Lena
There is Chaco, one of my former foster dogs. She’s younger than Otto, but has two failing knees and severe arthritis, and her owner lacks the health insurance or budget to pay for two knee surgeries. Her declining mobility has contributed, it seems, to weight gain, which compounds her problems.
Another friend is in a similar position with Lena, Otto’s very first playmate and friend. She has had one ACL surgically repaired, and underwent “conservative management” when the second one tore; her veterinarian says her hips, too, are quite dysplastic, and would have benefitted from surgery. Both hips and both knees, too? Her very devoted owner, my friend, could not have possibly paid for four surgeries – nor could she have gotten or afforded insurance after the first knee injury and x-rays showed the hip problems. Lena is maintained on daily pain medication and various joint supplements, and my friend takes her for frequent drives to places where she can take short, gentle walks. My friend has also been shopping for some sort of wagon or cart she could use to take the 70-pound dog on walks, so she at least can enjoy the changing scenery and odors. Lena, like Chaco, is getting fairly crippled, but is in otherwise good health and appetite. How long can my friends maintain them in this condition?
How to know when to let them go
Super dedicated owners can provide hospice care for dogs, if they are physically and emotionally able and have an appropriate home and time to do so. We ran a great article about this in 2010; it holds up well today. But not everyone has a schedule and home that would permit, as just one example, helping a large non-ambulatory dog outside to potty several times a day.
Not unrelated: Between all my dog-loving friends, I am aware of exactly ONE DOG who died peacefully in his sleep.
I just went looking; here are some links for information on how to know when “the time” is right for euthanasia:
https://www.americanhumane.org/fact-sheet/euthanasia-making-the-decision/
https://www.lapoflove.com/Quality-of-Life/How-Will-I-Know-It-Is-Time
When it is getting close to time to make an appointment for euthanasia, we have some other helpful articles to read. This one is by a long-time contributor to WDJ, trainer Lisa Rodier.
Also, trainer Jill Breitner’s article on what to ask before making an appointment for euthanasia and the companion piece to that article by Dr. Sally J. Foote are excellent sources of information about what you should know in advance.
My Maltese lived to age 15. She had severe arthritis and dementia. The dementia was so hard to see. Brie loved life and she loved action. Big cities, lots of stuff going on, hiking, x/c skiing… she never wanted to be left behind (and rarely was). Her dementia started as sundowner’s syndrome, where she became extremely anxious when the sun went down. Part of that was vision related, but she could not be consoled. She would cry and just couldn’t settle anywhere. We took her on a trip to a favorite city, thinking that would make her happy. She cried when she was on the ground (and she had always been a super smeller), she cried when I held her, she cried in her carriage, it was awful. When the arthritis got so bad that she screamed if picked up, I knew it was time. We had used Doggone Pain successfully for many years, but even that wasn’t working anymore. Then she would have a good day. You know how it goes. My wonderful vet said, bring her in on a good day – don’t wait for a bad one. And I did. There’s never anything easy about saying goodbye. I got her ashes, which was comforting. The cycle of life and death is the hardest thing for those of us who choose to share our life with animals.
Keeping them alive for our needs is wrong. Keeping them alive with a lousy quality of life for them is wrong. Keeping them alive through compassionate care that extends their life while still allowing them, as much as possible, to be a dog and do what dogs do, is what we should strive for.
When it is getting close to time to help them pass, plan a GREAT LAST DAY for them. Spoil them like you’ve never spoiled them before. The sky’s the limit, no holds barred, and smile and have fun with them. Don’t dwell on what’s to come, they need to be ready to pass while they are in a good place, and they will be in that place only if you are there with them.
A dear friend who lost her dog got a new one within a week. She said she thought that was the best way to honor the one who passed, by now giving her love to a new dog, in honor of the old.
We lost Maggie in august of 2018, and Bella at the end of April 2019. We adopted Rascal in September 2018, not to replace Maggie, but because we had love to give to two dogs, and only had Bella. We adopted Brooklyn five weeks ago, not to replace Bella, who is irreplaceable, but to carry on her good work. For you see, Maggie & Bella were Therapy Dogs, and now Rascal is one, and Brooklyn soon will earn her Pet Partner Therapy Dog tags.
Maggie and Bella each could have had a few more days, but the quality of the days would have been diminished. We regret losing them, but we don;t regret the decision we made to let them go when we did.
Peace to all Pet Lovers.
Quality of life is key. They depend on you for everything, even knowing when to let them go they depend on you for that too! It’s always hard but they Depend on you until the end!
We too had to put our beloved Cocoa down this past May and it truly was one of the most difficult things I ever did. My husband wanted to do it 6 months earlier but she was mama’s girl and I couldn’t
do it. My husband had to do most of things that Cocoa needed like carry her up and down the stairs because she couldn’t do steps anymore and I couldn’t carry her. she was deaf, was inontininant. peeing several times on our bed where she slept. she was senile, not remembering much of what she used to know and she snapped at my husband several times. She just wasn’t the dog we knew and loved any more. for 15 and a 1/2 years she was the best dog ever. I still cry every time I think of her because I miss her so much. We have a wonderful puppy now a miniature goldendoodle. She’s great but she’s not Cocoa but life goes on. I had this horrible idea that because Cocoa always followed me and looked for me always that she’d spend an eternity looking for me in death, too. At least until we met up again when I passd. My kids said that wouldn’t happen but who knows. Maybe some day I can think of just happy times with Cocoa and not dwell on the fact she’s gone but not yet. Intellectually I know we did the right thing but emotionally not so much. She was in pain, had bad knees and bad hips, her back legs would give out and she had a rough time getting back up. She had both her knees fixed years ago and had arthritis in them so I know we did the right thing but,,,,,,,,,,,
My beloved Lab/Golden Saffy was 14 1/2. She had surgery on both knees at age 8. She had arthritis, was deaf, had on-going UTIs, and then suffered from vestibular syndrome. We got her through the vestibular syndrome with cold laser treatments and eased arthritis with acupuncture, which gave her another year of quality life. Finally she could not stand or walk. She had always been a very clean dog and seemed distressed after she constantly peed on herself. She would eat if I brought food to her but she had no quality of life. When we got to the vet, she rallied and took a few shaky steps. I know I could have kept her going , but that would have been selfish. Putting her to sleep was one of the hardest things I ever have done. I still miss her but I know I did right by her.
I’ve had to have 3 of my babies euthanized and it never gets easier. The first, Flex, was a 14 year old Rottie mix with severe arthritis and steroid induced Cushings. He was having a wonderful day on the day we said goodbye, and I’m forever grateful for that. His bad days were far outnumbering the good and we knew it was time. Sonia, my 8 year old Rottie was in wonderful shape and so full of life. We left the dog park after a fun day of swimming and within hours she started losing the use of her front leg. The paralysis spread and her thyroid stopped working. The vet suspect a toxin in the lake, but my other dog was fine. We fought hard for her, and she started improving but then her organs started failing. It wasn’t a peaceful euthanasia as she hated drugs. It was the hardest goodbye ever. Well, maybe. I say that because my youngest, Coot ( Kujo) was diagnosed with congenital kidney disease at 3. He was the most loving dog I’ve ever known. He was 4 when I had to say goodbye. I miss him sooo much. My advice to anyone? I’d much rather say goodbye a day too soon than a day too late. We owe them that.
I appreciate your comment. I just said goodbye to my 12 year old Black Lab. My guilt for making the decision is unbearable. She had Cancer but was still eating and drinking. She was having some trouble walking and seemed to be panting all of the time, even just laying there. She had also started crying for no reason (although I think the reason was pain). My husband said, we just can’t let her live like this, she is suffering.
I of course keep telling myself, what if it was too soon?? What if she could have lived a little bit longer? I am awful for making that decision if it was too soon. 00 Reading your comment is a place I wish I could be. That she went out still OK. Maybe another week later would have been a different story.
Thanks for listening.
When asking this question before, our vet and good friend said to pick at 4-5 things the dog was known for loving. If they are no longer interested in those things, the time is near. They are no longer enjoying the life they live and may still be holding on because they know WE still need THEM. I have 2 who are 13. I know the time is not too far out. I love on them daily and tell them, on their struggle days, to go when they want to go. Thanks for the read and providing other articles!
I gave my 12 year old female Akita BPC-157 injections, she has degenerative myelopathy and arthritis and had a tendon injury, this was in December of 2018 when it seemed I was going to lose her. I am happy to report my dog is 100% better and is able to hike and is no longer falling or tripping and almost no foot dragging as her myelin sheath has regenerated. I also give her Boswellia and msm for her arthritis. My dog’s Instagram page is shibuakita. I also recently got a male Akita puppy. Both dogs are on meat and vegetable diets with supplements. Shibu will be 13 in December and she looks beautiful, you cannot tell she is that old or has a fatal illness.
Kristin, I messaged you at Instagram. I would love to find out more about your supplements. Have an old guy with similar issues. Thanks, Sandra
Hi, I know this thread is a few years old but I was intrigued when I saw your mention of bcp 157. I tried to look up shibuakita on Instagram to reach out there but was not able to find any account… anyways I wanted to reach out and see If I could ask you a few questions about using bcp for your pup. I was curious if you were able to find a vet to help you or was this something you went about more on your own? I have a dog who had 2 knee surgeries and am wond3ring about using bcp157 possibly down the road if he/when he might develop arthritis. Anyways hopefully you see this as I love to hear about your experience with your pup as I haven’t been able to find much out there on peptides for our dogs. Really hope this message gets to you and we can chat. Thanks so much.
Sounds like Beau has dog dementia. Yes, its a real thing. Dogdementia.com has great info. The last dog of my pack is 13 & between the weight , hearing & eye sight loss, plus the dementia onset, it is hard to decide what to do.
She eats, walks long distances etc but some days are hard…
I plan to ease her suffering based on HER quality of life, not my need to have her here. & daily ask the Lord to take her in her sleep…
I’m a staunch believer that “they will let you know” . The problem is hearing them, or in my case, getting the rest of the family to respect it.
My dog Nash lived to a ripe old age of 16…not bad for a large mutt rescued at the age of three from the SPCA.
And if he hadn’t contracted bone cancer, I think he would have lived longer.
He was diagnosed in the fall of 2012. Started to fail in spring of 2013. Lost his appetite, control of his bladder, had very little bowel movements. In May, he walked up to me (he was very much a Mommy’s boy) and gave me that look….and I knew. The battle was my husband. Ours is a second marriage, and Nash was the first “baby” we had together, adopted in January of 2000. My husband is a redneck headbanger, raised on a farm until he was 10. Dogs were kept outside, and while he considered them companions, he didn’t really understand the concept of them being truly “family”. Until me. Nash was kept inside, and went everywhere we (especially I) did. He helped bring groceries in–would stand by the car and we’d put light bags around his neck. He’d go inside, we’d remove the bag, he’d go back out. He slept with us. And my husband learned what it was to truly HAVE a dog, and what it was like to be LOVED by a dog.
So, when I told him I thought it was time Nash crossed the bridge, my DH balked. And Nash didn’t help. He could tell DH was worried, so Nash would act like his old self when DH was there–bouncy, playful, happy. My DH FINALLY got it when, on Thanksgiving 2013, we got home from family dinner, went outside to let Nash in, and found him on the patio. I called his name a couple times, and knelt down next to him. I really thought he was dead–he was so still, and I couldn’t detect his breathing. I started freaking out, and finally Nash woke up. He tried to stand up, and stumbled. That’s when my husband finally understood.
We sent Nash across the bridge on December 27, 2013. That was the second time I saw my husband cry…and I mean ugly cry…and I haven’t seen him cry like that since.
We have another rescue, Brutus, a full bred Rottie, who’s 9 or 10; we got him in 2013. He’s got bad hip dysplasia, and is starting to fail. We already had one scare with him last year– he contracted a skin stap infection, lost a LOT of hair, and a LOT of weight. When we took him to the vet my husband told me flat out..”I’m not going through that hell again. If we have to put him down, I’ll have to wait outside.” Brutus recovered, but at the beginning of this summer, he started to slow way down. And he’s so laid back, so chill, so aloof, it’s hard to read him. He’s not, and never has been, as expressive as Nash was…not like our other two, either, they’re open books, very communicative.
Brut? He’s the very strong, silent type. John Wayne, Clint Eastwood..you know, stoic.
But, like Nash, he’s is definitely a momma’s boy, so it will be up to me to receive his message when he sends it. I just hope I’ll be able to understand it as clearly as I did Nash’s.
I appreciated all of the comments posted for this. Peace be with you. If your beloved companions could communicate with you now, I am sure they would say “thank you for a wonderful life; I had a great time.”
I love this!