I have a number of friends (and a family member) who have dogs who are nearing the end of their days. I’m noting and processing the events and feelings they are experiencing – and hoping it is several years before I’m in a similar situation (my heart dog, Otto, will be 12 years old in November).
Beau
My sister and her husband have a really old Schnauzer-mix named Beau. He might even be a real Schnauzer. He’s so old, it’s hard to tell! They took in Beau when a friend in distress couldn’t keep him. The friend had gotten Beau as a puppy when her son was 10 years old, and that son is in his late twenties now, so… Beau is old. He has limited vision, limited hearing, has had several strokes and can’t walk a straight line, and is growing increasingly incontinent. On his bad days, it seems almost cruel that he is being kept alive. He may stagger or not be able to get up, he acts like he doesn’t know where he is and is anxious, and he may just suddenly completely empty his bladder on the carpet while standing still, seemingly unaware he is doing so.
But on his good days, he runs up the hall with the rest of his housemates, eats with gusto, goes outside through the dog door and potties without assistance or a reminder to do so, and enjoys his time on the sofa and in bed with his human and canine housemates. So they are very much afraid that if they call the vet to make a euthanasia appointment on one of his bad days, and he’s having a good day on the day of the appointment, the vet may decline to euthanize, or the staff may make them feel like creeps! In fact, they feel sort of pre-emptively guilty about even just talking about “Beau’s time.” My sister and brother-in-law love Beau and want him to have a good end. But when is the right time?
Chaco and Lena
There is Chaco, one of my former foster dogs. She’s younger than Otto, but has two failing knees and severe arthritis, and her owner lacks the health insurance or budget to pay for two knee surgeries. Her declining mobility has contributed, it seems, to weight gain, which compounds her problems.
Another friend is in a similar position with Lena, Otto’s very first playmate and friend. She has had one ACL surgically repaired, and underwent “conservative management” when the second one tore; her veterinarian says her hips, too, are quite dysplastic, and would have benefitted from surgery. Both hips and both knees, too? Her very devoted owner, my friend, could not have possibly paid for four surgeries – nor could she have gotten or afforded insurance after the first knee injury and x-rays showed the hip problems. Lena is maintained on daily pain medication and various joint supplements, and my friend takes her for frequent drives to places where she can take short, gentle walks. My friend has also been shopping for some sort of wagon or cart she could use to take the 70-pound dog on walks, so she at least can enjoy the changing scenery and odors. Lena, like Chaco, is getting fairly crippled, but is in otherwise good health and appetite. How long can my friends maintain them in this condition?
How to know when to let them go
Super dedicated owners can provide hospice care for dogs, if they are physically and emotionally able and have an appropriate home and time to do so. We ran a great article about this in 2010; it holds up well today. But not everyone has a schedule and home that would permit, as just one example, helping a large non-ambulatory dog outside to potty several times a day.
Not unrelated: Between all my dog-loving friends, I am aware of exactly ONE DOG who died peacefully in his sleep.
I just went looking; here are some links for information on how to know when “the time” is right for euthanasia:
https://www.americanhumane.org/fact-sheet/euthanasia-making-the-decision/
https://www.lapoflove.com/Quality-of-Life/How-Will-I-Know-It-Is-Time
When it is getting close to time to make an appointment for euthanasia, we have some other helpful articles to read. This one is by a long-time contributor to WDJ, trainer Lisa Rodier.
Also, trainer Jill Breitner’s article on what to ask before making an appointment for euthanasia and the companion piece to that article by Dr. Sally J. Foote are excellent sources of information about what you should know in advance.
The author says she knows only 2 dogs that died peacefully in their sleep. She needs to include how many she knows that died suffering for an extended time. There is difficulty in knowing whether it it too soon or too late.
I often wonder why humans feel this is ethical for animals but not for themselves or their loved ones. I’ve had to make this difficult decision for all but one of my animal friends and in all but one case I think it was the right decision. There were clear indications that the animals were ready…you could feel them withdrawing from life. In contrast I have watched several of my relatives kept alive in states of misery. My grandfather begged for someone to bring him a gun in the nursing home so he could end his life. The longer I live the more the line between human experience and that of my animal friends seems to blur. I think an observant caretaker will be able to listen and hear when an animal is ready and should feel no remorse for helping. I think we humans should be allowed to do the same for our human companions.
My dog has one focus in life retrieving, be that a dummy or a ball. The speed will get less and the amount he can do will get less but he can still enjoy the fetch. However, when those eyes lose their sparkle for the chase and his body will no longer aid him in the chase then I will know my boy is not enjoying life. Then I will ask the question.
I will be facing this soon. I have 2 Doxie brothers going on 14. They are both blind. One runs into the wall now and the other falls down and is having mobility issues. A friend once told me why was I grieving ahead of time, they were just dogs. I told her she was wrong. My dogs are everything to me. They have made my life bearable when family dissapoints. All my dogs have let me know when it’s time. SCOOTER, POOTY POUNDERBUT, SASSAFRAS, GOOBER, CHEWY, PUDGE. I will be there when they cross the Rainbow Bridge and I will sing to them and hold them close as my heart bleeds out and their eyes dim. They will never feel alone. It’s the hardest trip you can take going on that (last drive) thinking you can turn around and go back but knowing you can’t. Everything has a price even love. It’s the most you can pay but the value is more than money could ever buy. Thank you all for loving yours. I hope when I die God puts me in a sunny green field with all the dogs who have been tortured and abused and I can give them all the love they should have had….
I havae had to make that decision more than I ever wanted. But on the day I made those choices. And my animals let me know. Usually by a very sad look that they couldn’t take it anymore. I spoiled my dog.
Play in the water, ice cream, car ride anything I knew they loved. Then we went to the vets And I made sure I was there for every minute of the procedure. They would pass knowing they were loved.
I have had friends just drop their pets at the vets and leave. I could never do that.
So when you make the decision. Stay with them. Let your face be the last thing they see.
Then go home and cry.
Elissa-I am so glad that you wrote this response. I so agree with that thinking…on so many levels. I have never been in a hospice situation so wasn’t aware of what you described. Never thought of it in those terms…how valuable…thank you for sharing that. Don’t know you or your little Herk but what you wrote moved me to tears. Who can explain these attachments but, then again, why try to explain them.
On a more personal note, on occasion I have chosen euthanasia for my dogs for just about all the reasons that I’ve read about here and I regret those decisions.
I too have had the heartbreak of making that final decision for my companion. The last time it was for “Hercules “, my 15 year old Min Pin. He was being treated for an unknown illness and grew more sick with each day. Maybe it was just timing, but I tried something different with Herk. That morning I held him in my arms and gave him permission to go. I petted him, I told him how much he would be missed, but that he would always be in my heart and I would see him again on the other side. Within a few minutes his breathing stopped and he was gone.
This is a method used in hospice and other settings when people linger on so long. I believe that our furry companions may feel they still have a job to do. Maybe, letting them know that have fulfilled that obligation beyond all expectatons allows them to let go.