Not one but two friends said goodbye to their beloved senior dogs in the past week. I read their tributes to their beautiful dogs and looked through all the photos of the good times they had together, and wiped copious tears away. These deaths make me hyperconscious of the limited time that I have left with my senior dog, Otto.
If he makes it to November, he’ll be 15 years old. His back legs are getting weaker, and though he can still jump into my car (it’s low, and he jumps onto the floor of the back seat, then climbs onto the seat), he sometimes catches a toe when he goes up the two stairs leading to our back deck and then two more that lead to the kitchen door and his back end collapses for a moment. I try not to fuss when I help him up; he always looks embarrassed when this happens.
He doesn’t trot much anymore; his gaits include a fairly gimpy walk and a sort of swinging lope that he uses as a replacement for his formerly jaunty trot – but he also still roars at the sight of any United States postal vehicles and races to and then down the fence line to chase said vehicles out of sight. He can’t resist! But he pays a price for this after the adrenaline wears off; he retires to his sandbox and naps deeply in the cool sand afterward.
He has always been good about being groomed, but he loves being brushed now – even with a Furminator, which I have to use to try to get rid of his still-shedding thick winter coat. But I have to be careful as I brush his sides and flanks, as he has countless egg-shaped lipomas of various sizes now. They don’t cause any pain, but it can’t be good to put any sort of pressure on them!
For almost a year now, he exhibits signs of dementia at night. He pants and paces and seems confused and anxious. A few months ago, at the suggestion of his team of vets, in addition to his arthritis med and gabapentin, we tried a prescription medicine for dementia. Within days, he had fountaining diarrhea, and we had to stop the dementia medicine. Following that, even though I bathed his nether end again and again, he started over-grooming the underside of his tail, where the liquid poop had gotten on it. He caused a nasty little lick granuloma, which required shaving the underside of his tail several times before it finally healed up, weeks later. I know it’s silly and not important, but it makes me so sad to see the skinny section of his now threadbare tail, which is usually a glorious flag, curving up and gently waving high in good spirits.
Until this past year, he’s always had nice breath and clean teeth. He was well past middle age when he needed his first dental, and he’s had several since then – but now, no vet wants to put him under anesthesia for a thorough dental, so his teeth are getting a little cruddy and his breath isn’t as fresh as it used to be. Fortunately, he’s good about tolerating brushing. We’re trying to hold the line!
He’s gotten ridiculous about food, hungrily and openly begging for whatever treats he thinks someone might give him, and lurking in the kitchen when we’re cooking. He no longer bothers to “sit” or “down” on cue, but stands, tail wagging and open-mouthed in anticipation when I’m giving cues to the other dogs. He knows he gets treats whenever the other dogs get treats, no “work” is required anymore.
But turn about is fair play; the other dogs have learned his medication schedule. Any time I get the can of wet food out of the refrigerator, they will jump up out of a deep sleep or game of tug to come and sit politely. They know that after I hide Otto’s meds in a “meatball” of pâté and he has taken the meatball from my hand, I will feed them a tiny bit of the tasty food as well.
I thank goodness that 7-month-old Boone doesn’t have high exercise needs. When Woody was his age, I used to have to take daily (sometimes twice daily) long, off-leash walks in our local wildlife area in order to keep him from jumping out of his skin. If we take Otto along, we can’t go very far before he’s tired – and I can’t bear his sad, uncomprehending stare if he doesn’t get to leave the house with me and the other dogs. I try to make it up to Boone with more play on the lawn and more hide-and-seek around the property. Happily, like many “youngest children,” he’s great about entertaining himself by chewing and tugging on our grandson’s swing (we have to make a new seat!) and playing tug all by himself with the leather leash we use to retrieve our grandson’s zip line (watch him do it here!).
It will be wonderful to get a good, full night’s sleep again someday, and to take long, guilt-free hikes with Woody and Boone – but I’m not in a rush. I keep trying to memorize the sweet hayfield aroma of Otto’s thick ruff and the feel of the one silky patch of hair he has on the very top of his head, right between his distinctive half-folded, tufted ears. Though my friends’ tributes to their beloved dogs make my heart hurt, I’m trying not to pre-grieve my vibrant, joyous, mischievous Otto of the past. I’m making every effort to just be here now with my beloved dog, one slightly stinky breath at a time.
So bittersweet. I remember when you got Otto! I’m so glad you are there for him ❤️❤️
My beloved Lady Clarabelle, a Keeshond, was 15 this past April. We also have e 7 year old Kees. This week, I bought Clarabelle a Petique All Terrain Dog Stroller. Now, after I clip her into her stroller, she can come with us on our trails. Your pooch might like a stroller so he can come with you and the rest of the family on your walks!!!
OMG, I am crying my eyes out reading this. My little Yorkie, the love of my life, my first dog, turned 11 yesterday. She has luxating patella in both back legs and medial shoulder instability in both front legs. I rehabbed her left front leg injury for 7 months and she recovered. I took her to a place that does swimming, cold laser therapy and PT. I refused to do surgery on any of her little legs and she recovered from all. No, her legs are not perfect and she HAS slowed down and sleeps more, but she is still her nutty little self and loves to go on walks, albeit much shorter walks.
I know that she is developing arthritis in her legs and I can see other signs of aging. I just can’t imagine my life without this little creature!! I am trying to just focus on having every day with her and be as loving and PATIENT as I can. Anyone that has a Yorkie knows what I mean about being patient!!
If anyone here has had Yorkies, can you tell me what to expect as she gets older? And how long have your Yorkies lived.
Thanks for any info.
Am writing this thru tears remembering dogs that I have loved & lost over the years & grateful that 3 out of 5 lived a long life. The other two were taken too soon. Your ode to Otto was beautifully written! I have been a subscriber for many years & remember when you first got him, after losing Rupert ( I believe that was his name). Hoping you have him for as long as possible! Thanks for sharing!
I know exactly what you mean about pre-grieving your loss. I was there a year ago and on several other occasions in the past. It’s hard not to but I know you don’t want to waste one precious moment with your Otto on anticipatory grief. Much love to you, Nancy, a real kindred spirit and someone I admire greatly. Thank you for sharing your fur-baby journey – the good, the hard, the funny, the tragic and everything in between!
We have two very senior dogs and a couple mildly senior dogs.
Our Lily is now 14, a bit slow and often incontinent….she sleeps with us and has to have folded towels under her….Dory is an 11 or 13 y/o basset hound. She is mostly blind and slow and weak on her hindend after two broken femurs… they are both still feisty old ladies and sweet amd funny. Like Otto neither has to sit for food or treats.
My Daisy is 12, she is a little 45 lbs street mix. She still runs and wants to go for walks although it is waaay too hot right now. I try to give them the attention they deserve and be happy that they are still here….
I brush my little Pomeranian’s teeth but have a hard time getting the inside of his teeth. I discovered Crump’s Plaque Busters. They have really helped. His teeth are much whiter.
I remember all of this when my Ramses turned 13. He lived to 14.75. I only regret two things. Not taking more photos and not getting him a special arthritis dog bed sooner. After Caesar passed I noticed I didn’t have as many photos of him as I liked so vowed to do better with Ramses and I did, but it still wasn’t enough. I wanted more. You have a lot of photos of Otto and the gang. You provide them all with good beds, good food and excellent medical care. It is why Otto is as healthy as he is and has lived for so long. There really isn’t much you can do about dementia. Ramses’ was mild but the last 9 months he did have some insomnia, was restless at night and took to sleeping outside rather than in the house. But the last few weeks that changed and he wanted to sleep in the bed with me again. Not being able to jump up on it any more I lifted him up and taught him to wait to allow me to lift him down. When we got the diagnosis of multiple issues the only question was which would happen first. Turns out he had a heart attack two days before we were scheduled for that last vet visit. I will always appreciate him taking the necessity for that last trip away from me and going on his own. He had a great day the day before, taking a last walk around my parent’s neighborhood with their Candy and seeing all of his friends for one last goodbye. The next day he just wanted to snuggle with me all day and night. He knew, he made his choices.
You know Otto so well you will know what he’s telling you. For now enjoy him, indulge him and rest assured you have given him the best life he could have ever had.
This was beautifully written. I was contemplating lately the fact that our pup is almost 10 and although still doing well, I see signs of aging. I mentioned this to her rescue/foster who encouraged me to take LOTS of photos and videos for when that very sad time does come…to be able to “reminisce” with visuals. ❤️💔❤️
Hi Nancy,
Your note about Otto is so similar to what we’re going through here with our oldster King Lui who is almost 15. Being a Cairn Terrier he is quite a bit smaller than Otto, but like Otto he is bright red with a beautiful wirey coat, and many fans and friends. It’s been tough to see the changes this past year or two. You said it all with your statement “Be here now”. It’s our mantra each day he’s with us. Always a very noble dog and never silly. We smile a lot now at some of the things he does that he never would have done when younger.
Thanks so much for sharing your relationship with Otto, with all of us. Nice to know we’re not alone at this time in our old boys lives.
Best to you, Louise Hooper