Not one but two friends said goodbye to their beloved senior dogs in the past week. I read their tributes to their beautiful dogs and looked through all the photos of the good times they had together, and wiped copious tears away. These deaths make me hyperconscious of the limited time that I have left with my senior dog, Otto.
If he makes it to November, he’ll be 15 years old. His back legs are getting weaker, and though he can still jump into my car (it’s low, and he jumps onto the floor of the back seat, then climbs onto the seat), he sometimes catches a toe when he goes up the two stairs leading to our back deck and then two more that lead to the kitchen door and his back end collapses for a moment. I try not to fuss when I help him up; he always looks embarrassed when this happens.
He doesn’t trot much anymore; his gaits include a fairly gimpy walk and a sort of swinging lope that he uses as a replacement for his formerly jaunty trot – but he also still roars at the sight of any United States postal vehicles and races to and then down the fence line to chase said vehicles out of sight. He can’t resist! But he pays a price for this after the adrenaline wears off; he retires to his sandbox and naps deeply in the cool sand afterward.
He has always been good about being groomed, but he loves being brushed now – even with a Furminator, which I have to use to try to get rid of his still-shedding thick winter coat. But I have to be careful as I brush his sides and flanks, as he has countless egg-shaped lipomas of various sizes now. They don’t cause any pain, but it can’t be good to put any sort of pressure on them!
For almost a year now, he exhibits signs of dementia at night. He pants and paces and seems confused and anxious. A few months ago, at the suggestion of his team of vets, in addition to his arthritis med and gabapentin, we tried a prescription medicine for dementia. Within days, he had fountaining diarrhea, and we had to stop the dementia medicine. Following that, even though I bathed his nether end again and again, he started over-grooming the underside of his tail, where the liquid poop had gotten on it. He caused a nasty little lick granuloma, which required shaving the underside of his tail several times before it finally healed up, weeks later. I know it’s silly and not important, but it makes me so sad to see the skinny section of his now threadbare tail, which is usually a glorious flag, curving up and gently waving high in good spirits.
Until this past year, he’s always had nice breath and clean teeth. He was well past middle age when he needed his first dental, and he’s had several since then – but now, no vet wants to put him under anesthesia for a thorough dental, so his teeth are getting a little cruddy and his breath isn’t as fresh as it used to be. Fortunately, he’s good about tolerating brushing. We’re trying to hold the line!
He’s gotten ridiculous about food, hungrily and openly begging for whatever treats he thinks someone might give him, and lurking in the kitchen when we’re cooking. He no longer bothers to “sit” or “down” on cue, but stands, tail wagging and open-mouthed in anticipation when I’m giving cues to the other dogs. He knows he gets treats whenever the other dogs get treats, no “work” is required anymore.
But turn about is fair play; the other dogs have learned his medication schedule. Any time I get the can of wet food out of the refrigerator, they will jump up out of a deep sleep or game of tug to come and sit politely. They know that after I hide Otto’s meds in a “meatball” of pâté and he has taken the meatball from my hand, I will feed them a tiny bit of the tasty food as well.
I thank goodness that 7-month-old Boone doesn’t have high exercise needs. When Woody was his age, I used to have to take daily (sometimes twice daily) long, off-leash walks in our local wildlife area in order to keep him from jumping out of his skin. If we take Otto along, we can’t go very far before he’s tired – and I can’t bear his sad, uncomprehending stare if he doesn’t get to leave the house with me and the other dogs. I try to make it up to Boone with more play on the lawn and more hide-and-seek around the property. Happily, like many “youngest children,” he’s great about entertaining himself by chewing and tugging on our grandson’s swing (we have to make a new seat!) and playing tug all by himself with the leather leash we use to retrieve our grandson’s zip line (watch him do it here!).
It will be wonderful to get a good, full night’s sleep again someday, and to take long, guilt-free hikes with Woody and Boone – but I’m not in a rush. I keep trying to memorize the sweet hayfield aroma of Otto’s thick ruff and the feel of the one silky patch of hair he has on the very top of his head, right between his distinctive half-folded, tufted ears. Though my friends’ tributes to their beloved dogs make my heart hurt, I’m trying not to pre-grieve my vibrant, joyous, mischievous Otto of the past. I’m making every effort to just be here now with my beloved dog, one slightly stinky breath at a time.
Nancy – Regarding Otto’s oral health…
If his thyroid is healthy you would both benefit from using a dried kelp supplement called Plaque Off. I’ve used it with my dogs for almost 10 years and have been recommending it to clients for almost that long. It’s amazingly effective.
I started using it with a senior beagle I had inherited who had the worst gingivitis, bad breath and ugly plaque build up imaginable. Like Otto, she needed regular dental care at the vet that required anesthesia. Once I started adding a small scop to her food the results were fast and dramatic. 4 weeks her red and inflamed gums turned a healthy pink. Around the same time her bad breath disappeared. Within two months, even the plaque buildup on her teeth started to just fall away. She never needed work done in her mouth the rest of her life.
I am very skeptical about all supplements for a lot of reasons but this was near miraculous in its effectiveness. The reason you need to be sure that there are no thyroid issues is because kelp is high in iodine, which is normally good for thyroid function but is, as they say, contra-indicated in hyperthyroid dogs. Cat owners – although they say “for dogs and cats”, I remember finding some concern about this possibly causing cat to become hyper-thyroid. Best to check with your vet.
And thank you for this wonderfully written piece. Senior dogs have a special place in my heart.
May Otto – and you – continue to find pleasure in his daily life.
Nancy – so beautifully written. Thank you. We will all miss Otto when he leaves. Welcome to your new sweetie pie.
I have become so anti human over the years as I have become so much more aware of what they are capable of when it comes to so many people and their abuse and neglect of animals and my heart breaks for those precious animals. Any time someone who is so pro-animal and especially dogs, my heart breaks for them when they lose their beloved pet. I have watched 3 of my Golden’s pass on to the Rainbow Bridge over the last several years and each time I have lost a huge part of my heart and soul. I have one Golden left, Gunny, who will be 12 on Aug 04, 2022 and I am already suffering over the time I have to say goodby. Gunny is my heart and soul and I contribute my getting up every morning and thanking the power to be, of getting through another night without any problems with him or Anika. He wakes me up several times during the night wanting me to get his little sister, she is my 6 year old German Shepherd named Anika, to move so he can have her place in bed for a little while, he will wake me up if he is thirsty and I get up and bring him his water bowl and wanting me to get Anika to move again so he can have her place in bed for a little while again but, I don’t care in the least. I know I may not have him to wake me up anymore in the near future and I will miss that so, I will be compliant for as long as he needs me to be. Thank goodness he is still pretty healthy but I can tell he is slowing down and my heart breaks every time I see that. I will still have Anika who I love so much as well, to carry me on until I have to say goodby to her. At that time I am prepared to follow my two precious baby’s and can only hope we will all meet again over that Rainbow Bridge, and will have their remains in their urns buried with me. That is the only thing I am looking forward to knowing that I will be following them very lose behind, that is my predetermined plan and knowing I will have them and my other 3 Golden’s with me for eternity. Remember folks that my heart breaks with you every time you have to say goodby to a beloved friend as much as you. Treat your pets as though tomorrow could be the last day you have them with you regardless of their age.
Gosh, I remember when the “cover dog” on WDJ switched from a Golden Retriever to Otto. So long ago, and so many dogs ago for me, as well. I lost a precious one a year ago. Still miss him so much … and all the past good dogs. I think of them all often.
Yes, I remember how I had to keep reminding myself to live only for today with him. It’s a daily practice.
I’ve lost several dogs after they turned 12, so when our Aussie Mix hit that age, I couldn’t help but worry about how much time she had left. I told myself to just enjoy her while I could. She was diagnosed with bone cancer last November. We had to say good-bye to her in February at 14-1/2, We stayed with her until the bitter end. We all cried and my daughter, who picked Lilly out of the litter and named her, sobbed.
My husband and I are currently dogless. We are looking for a new canine companion. It won’t be the same as Lilly, but that’s okay. Every dog we’ve had over the years has been different, The next one will be too. I look at the loss of a pet as an opportunity to get to know another one. I’m grateful for the time I had with each of the dogs who have graced my life with their presence over the years.
With that said, I thank you, Nancy, for posting this piece and thanks to all of those who commented on it, I was touched by all of them. I wish you all peace.
I have followed Otto from the time you first got him. I saw his picture and fell in love (I’ve ALWAYS been partial to terriers and terrier mixes) immediately. At that time, I’d lost my beloved Airedale and was in the process of adopting a senior. I’m now on my fifth, senior Airedale, Lilly. She’s the same age as Otto and her back legs are weak, also. Like Otto, she’s still bright-eyed, throws a fit over ANY truck that dares come down our street, AND dances (as much as she can) for her meals and treats. {{{{Otto}}}}
Tears are pouring. I lost my almost 11-year-old Gordon Setter, Gonzo, on June 27th and just picked up his ashes yesterday. Everything you wrote hit home in so many ways, but the one that stands out is how Otto sits and waits for treats while the other dogs are given cues. Gonzo would position himself in front of me while I threw balls for the other two to retrieve. Every day without fail, and if i wasn’t fast enough, he would remind me with a long soft “rooo.” How I miss that sound. I haven’t washed his blanket yet because it still smells of him…I can bury my face in it and feel him next to me. He would have been 11 on July 26, so on his last day, we had a birthday “cake” and celebration as I do every year for all my dogs. So what if it was a few weeks early? Thank you for writing this and please give Otto a special hug from me (and no doubt from all of us writing our own senior dog stories in the comments).
Nancy, I know exactly what your going through. I talked about LAVIE before. We have all had that once in a life time dog/partner. LAVIE became a registered therapy dog at 19 weeks old & he started visiting kids at 20 weeks old. After touching & visiting a little over 5000 kids in 10 years I retired him. He lived for 14.5 years.
Trust me talk about taking a piece of my heart! Absolutely!
I get it and many times I still look back and wonder how did get so blessed with a dog like LAVIE?
Only 1-word fits> Blessed!
Our sweet senior just passed away from a splenic tumor that ruptured (we didn’t even know it was there) and he was almost 16. It was so heart breaking and I’m devastated. I relate to everything you wrote -before the traumatic ending he was only dealing with some dementia and kidney stuff. He was in great spirits and his stuff was managed easily. Sherman was my constant shadow for 16 years as I work from home. I miss him so much hug Otto for us.
I understand very well your life with Otto. We lost my sweet lovely American Water Spaniel Burl a year ago at age 15 1/2. He had mitral valve disease and was on vetmedin only for a few years. In the last 3 months of his life, he was on salix as well. When the right side of his tired heart also failed, and his zest and enthusiasm was no longer, we let him go. I tear up still.