Not one but two friends said goodbye to their beloved senior dogs in the past week. I read their tributes to their beautiful dogs and looked through all the photos of the good times they had together, and wiped copious tears away. These deaths make me hyperconscious of the limited time that I have left with my senior dog, Otto.
If he makes it to November, he’ll be 15 years old. His back legs are getting weaker, and though he can still jump into my car (it’s low, and he jumps onto the floor of the back seat, then climbs onto the seat), he sometimes catches a toe when he goes up the two stairs leading to our back deck and then two more that lead to the kitchen door and his back end collapses for a moment. I try not to fuss when I help him up; he always looks embarrassed when this happens.
He doesn’t trot much anymore; his gaits include a fairly gimpy walk and a sort of swinging lope that he uses as a replacement for his formerly jaunty trot – but he also still roars at the sight of any United States postal vehicles and races to and then down the fence line to chase said vehicles out of sight. He can’t resist! But he pays a price for this after the adrenaline wears off; he retires to his sandbox and naps deeply in the cool sand afterward.
He has always been good about being groomed, but he loves being brushed now – even with a Furminator, which I have to use to try to get rid of his still-shedding thick winter coat. But I have to be careful as I brush his sides and flanks, as he has countless egg-shaped lipomas of various sizes now. They don’t cause any pain, but it can’t be good to put any sort of pressure on them!
For almost a year now, he exhibits signs of dementia at night. He pants and paces and seems confused and anxious. A few months ago, at the suggestion of his team of vets, in addition to his arthritis med and gabapentin, we tried a prescription medicine for dementia. Within days, he had fountaining diarrhea, and we had to stop the dementia medicine. Following that, even though I bathed his nether end again and again, he started over-grooming the underside of his tail, where the liquid poop had gotten on it. He caused a nasty little lick granuloma, which required shaving the underside of his tail several times before it finally healed up, weeks later. I know it’s silly and not important, but it makes me so sad to see the skinny section of his now threadbare tail, which is usually a glorious flag, curving up and gently waving high in good spirits.
Until this past year, he’s always had nice breath and clean teeth. He was well past middle age when he needed his first dental, and he’s had several since then – but now, no vet wants to put him under anesthesia for a thorough dental, so his teeth are getting a little cruddy and his breath isn’t as fresh as it used to be. Fortunately, he’s good about tolerating brushing. We’re trying to hold the line!
He’s gotten ridiculous about food, hungrily and openly begging for whatever treats he thinks someone might give him, and lurking in the kitchen when we’re cooking. He no longer bothers to “sit” or “down” on cue, but stands, tail wagging and open-mouthed in anticipation when I’m giving cues to the other dogs. He knows he gets treats whenever the other dogs get treats, no “work” is required anymore.
But turn about is fair play; the other dogs have learned his medication schedule. Any time I get the can of wet food out of the refrigerator, they will jump up out of a deep sleep or game of tug to come and sit politely. They know that after I hide Otto’s meds in a “meatball” of pâté and he has taken the meatball from my hand, I will feed them a tiny bit of the tasty food as well.
I thank goodness that 7-month-old Boone doesn’t have high exercise needs. When Woody was his age, I used to have to take daily (sometimes twice daily) long, off-leash walks in our local wildlife area in order to keep him from jumping out of his skin. If we take Otto along, we can’t go very far before he’s tired – and I can’t bear his sad, uncomprehending stare if he doesn’t get to leave the house with me and the other dogs. I try to make it up to Boone with more play on the lawn and more hide-and-seek around the property. Happily, like many “youngest children,” he’s great about entertaining himself by chewing and tugging on our grandson’s swing (we have to make a new seat!) and playing tug all by himself with the leather leash we use to retrieve our grandson’s zip line (watch him do it here!).
It will be wonderful to get a good, full night’s sleep again someday, and to take long, guilt-free hikes with Woody and Boone – but I’m not in a rush. I keep trying to memorize the sweet hayfield aroma of Otto’s thick ruff and the feel of the one silky patch of hair he has on the very top of his head, right between his distinctive half-folded, tufted ears. Though my friends’ tributes to their beloved dogs make my heart hurt, I’m trying not to pre-grieve my vibrant, joyous, mischievous Otto of the past. I’m making every effort to just be here now with my beloved dog, one slightly stinky breath at a time.
Such important words, living in the moment. My now 13.5 yo Aussie has made it though several near misses in the last two years. I spent thousands to keep him with always keeping in mind his quality of life. Lately he has slowed dramatically, but always makes it to the barn and back. My 6yo has to make due with rough housing on his schedule, but she knows whe. He’s reached his limit and I never make him stop. The hardest part now is lack of sleep when I lay in bed at night listening for the sound of his breathing, reaching for him if I don’t hear it. Reading posts from friends on FB is difficult, knowing my days with him are now numbered. But till then, I will love every day left.
Dear Nancy, I read all your posts. I always enjoy them but this one really hit home. I can’t believe Otto is 15 already! I always adopt seniors(currently have a 16 yr old chi & 12 yr old funny mix) it’s hard watching them move slower but you’re right, we must enjoy the time that they’re here with us. Enjoy that sandbox, Otto!
This made me laugh and cry. We lost our Lab in March. The treat thing cracked me up. We have 2 other dogs who sit and wait patiently but Stella did not because she knew she would get them anyway! We have another Lab who is now 12.5 and I am starting to worry about him now. I think he may have dementia as he will look at me and cry and then just stand there. Have you ever tried CBD oil or chews? I have not but may look into that. Thanks for the article. We all have to go thru this. The worst part of owning an animal is the end.
I know so well those countless nights without sleep. I just lost my beautiful boy Ziggy 2 months ago. He was a Great Dane. This was a hard loss for me because his aunt who I just lost a year prior at 12 years old and another beautiful female dane 6 month prior to that at 9 years old all of old age. I experienced all the same things your dog Otto went through with the exception of with one of my girls lost all control of her back legs and we had to use a harness. She could not hold her bowels or urine. She was so embarrassed and we would always try to make her as comfortable as possible. Ziggy the male ended up being a hard case for me. He stopped eating and I had to take him in for IV fluids and then feed him with a syringe. In the last 3weeks of his life were the most devastating because he was fighting but just could not manage? We now have Holly a 1 1/2 year old Great Dane that Ziggy accepted right away when we brought her into our home as a puppy. We now are about to bring in another puppy to introduce to Holly and know she will accept this puppy with the same great response a Ziggy did with Holly.
Your Otto is a precious old man. Much of your post was very familiar to me. I have an 18 year old who I adopted at age 12.5 from our local shelter. His back end is quite weak and he moves slowly UNLESS he sees a chance to get outside alone. Then I swear he moves at the speed of light. The next few days he’ll moan and groan but he seems to think it is worth it. We use a lifting harness to give him extra support getting up and walking. Once his hips and back end started to trouble him I quit requiring him to sit unless it is a safety issue.
He still enjoys car rides, porch napping, good, and especially treats. I try to give him the best day he can have every day. It is hard but I try to live in the moment as he does.
I always enjoy your articles and love to hear about your Otto, Woody, Boone, and others along the way.
Give Otto an extra hug from his senior “brother” Ayers and me. Hugs to you as well along this journey.
We are on that trajectory with our soon to b 15 yo. She has hip displasia, so long walks are no longer on the agenda. We hope she “falls into” a calming sleep on her own, as our last 3 dogs did … but we will do what is right. She will tell us when …
What a beautiful tribute to Otto. I remember when you wrote about him as a pup. He will always be with you. Our great dogs stay forever in our hearts and memories.
Nancy. Going through the same with my two border collies, Penny and Kia. Kia is in good shape and 6 months younger than Penny. Penny is frail but game. I would like to suggest a good osteopath for Otto. I think those of us who live with other species rely tooo much on vets who are not training in rehab etc. I found a veterinary osteopath in March who made all the difference to Penny. Just try it – won’t hurt, might help.
I lost both of my dogs in the last 8 months! My whole family is heartbroken and we know what it feels like to be in your position. We had to have our pug euthanized this past October, his back hips were shot, couldn’t do the steps to get in or out of the house anymore, plus he was losing his sight and hearing. We believe that dementia was setting in as well. He couldn’t get comfortable and paced the floors all night long. Our other dog was a puggle & Shih-Tzu mix. We just lost him over Memorial Day weekend, he had a seizure issue, and he developed a heart murmur over the last year or so. His heart just gave out at home where he was surrounded by our family. They were both about 12 to 13 years old, and we miss them tremendously. They were both good boys!
Beautifully written and captures so much of what we go through with our beloved older four-legged family members. I lost my Jasper, whose tail too used to be like Otto’s and then thinned out, in 2019 and his last months were very precious time we had together. Otto, you’re a champion and deserve every cookie and all the love you can get from your wonderful mum! 😍
Nancy I feel your pain. It’s a very hard process to watch.
Try Vetri-Science Perio Support for his teeth. $20 on Amazon. Just sprinkle on his food. It’s all natural, and works. I swear by it. Keeps teeth clean.