I don’t think I’ve ever had a dog whom I enjoy petting as much as I enjoy my 8-year-old Pit Bull-mix Woody. He has a firm, well-muscled body, a short, clean coat, silky ears, and the most smooshable jowls . . . if you like dogs, it’s just a pleasure to run your hands all over him.
If only he liked it as much as I do!
Sometimes, he does. At night, when the family is all snuggling on the couch, he loves to curl right up next to me and I can tell he enjoys having those thick muscles on his neck and shoulders massaged. And there are other times when he seeks out – insists on – being petted or having his butt scratched. But there are also times when he will back away from me or someone else who wants to pet him, duck out from under an outstretched hand, or, so subtly most people wouldn’t notice it, ever so slightly pull his ears down and backward when someone touches him.
Two-year-old Boone, in contrast, is a touch sponge. If you start petting him, prepare to be there for a while, because he wants more, more, MORE! He will even tolerate invasive touch between his toes or investigations of his ears, as long as you keep touching him.
People need to pay attention to their own dogs to figure out whether their dogs like being petted, or if so, when and where. I can’t tell you how frequently I see people pet (or worse, pat) their dogs when they are talking to someone, or otherwise distracted, while their dogs duck and try to wriggle away, not in the mood for petting at that time. Lots of people pet their dogs – or enthusiastically ruffle their fur – when they are trying to provide praise and reinforcement, and sometimes some dogs love that! But other times, the dog is too busy or distracted or concentrating on the tasks at hand, and is actively avoidant of the person’s intended “reward.”
When you intentionally look for clues as to whether or not a dog wants to be petted (or massaged or have his fur ruffled), you’ll see them. If a dog leans into the touch, visibly relaxes into the person’s hands, or climbs into the person’s lap, they like it. If they seem to ignore the person entirely or move away, they are saying as politely as possible, “No thanks!” And if we persist, we are, in effect, punishing them! Subjecting them to touch they do not enjoy is not only insensitive, if you think about it, it’s creepy – and may well make them avoid you in the future.
It can hurt your feelings, having your dog reject your touch. But it shouldn’t! They have a right to their honest opinion of what feels good and what does not! And if we pay attention and try to figure out what they like (and don’t like), we can increase their enjoyment of being touched, groomed, or massaged, and deepen their overall appreciation of us. And anything we can do to make them enjoy us more will improve our relationship and communication even more.
My standard schnauzer was a touch sponge. When he was a puppy, I made a point of massaging his feet to get him used to having his nails trimmed, etc. He had silky ears that were so much fun to run through my fingers. (Until our shihtzu/bichon boy would suck on the ears and then they’d be crunchy… yuck.)
Our Westie girl did not like to be picked up, held, or petted unless it was on her terms. Heck, she only listened when she wanted to. (Don’t get me wrong, she DID listen but if she ever got out, it was “talk to the butt” because she wasn’t coming back until she was ready. She likes men in uniform because she was brought home by a policeman once who said she just hopped into his vehicle (although he did say she was headed home).
Our only 15-year-old dog used to like to cuddle or at least sleep on my recliner footrest but now that she’s mostly blind, she seems to prefer to be on her dog bed on the floor. Granted, not being able to see probably plays into this a lot. I do try to have her on the chair with me but she’ll jump down if I’m not petting her. (I joke that she’s more like a cat and our 19-year-old cat is more like a dog.)
I’m lucky I’ve always had “Boones” but Diana pawPrints can be a bit “Woody” at times. Both come to me to demand hugs, pets, rubs and scratches but if we are out in the yard they will leave to investigate a sound or something even in the middle of a good session. Freyja must come and kiss me periodically just so I don’t forget she loves me. Diana will lean into me until I stop and put my arms around her for a good chest rub. They should both sleep on top of me if they could. I have never had a stand offish dog. Yet.