Just a super-short post today: My family is mourning the sudden loss of my sister’s husband, Dean. Yes, this is the family with three noisy little dogs, who have been Otto’s go-to dog-sitters since they moved to my town about five years ago. Otto loved and is going to miss his time on the sofa with Dean, enjoying hours of TV-watching and distracted petting.
Our hearts break for Dean’s loss, but our grief is nothing compared to my sister’s. She and Dean were a match, 28 years married (no kids) and still passionate about each other.
While all three of her dogs are barky and I find two of them to be whiny and neurotic, always clinging to my sister’s skirts, at the moment, I am just so thankful for their clinginess. She needs all the love (and even the distraction of barking) that they have to offer right now. She reports that they are all very lost, looking for their Dad, and in their confusion, are spending all their time underfoot or, when in bed, under the covers with her. She can’t even roll over without moving their little bodies first; they all want to be touching her right now.
I never anticipated saying this, but at the moment I am grateful that they are so demanding. They BARK when they want food and BARK for play and BARK to go for a walk. These demands will help my sister get out of bed and get outside. I hope she will eat when she feeds them. That’s enough to expect for now.
I spent days at the hospital with Dean and was with him when he passed. When I got home, I needed (and a week later, continue to need) to spend long moments with my face buried in Otto’s grass-scented, scruffy mane, feeling his tail gently wagging. And when yet another kind comment on Dean’s death announcement online makes me start crying again, Woody always seems to notice and gets up to shove his nose under my elbow, insistent with concern.
I don’t know what any of us would do without dog love.
I’m so sorry for your loss. And I simply can’t begin to imagine how lost your sister must be. I’m so glad she has three little love sponges that will help her get through this awful time and will help her heal. And same goes for you. May God and the dogs provide you and your family with comfort and love during this difficult tie.
This is a beautiful post and I can relate on multiple levels. My condolences to your family and I pray that you all, canine and human, will comfort each other.
My husband died in 2019. We’d been married 42 years. He was a strong personality and I miss him every day. Our dog, a Border Collie/Australian Cattle Dog mix, missed his Dad too. Shortly after my husband’s passing I adopted a 4 year old female Australian Shepherd. Her owner/breeder is having health challenges and decided to re-home most of her dogs. The new addition has added some fun and energy to our mourning home and I like to think that she is a bit of a silver lining. My husband used to joke that if anything happened to him, I’d soon be the weird dog lady and would end up with a dozen dogs! So far, it’s only two.
But yes, absolutely dogs are a blessing and comfort in all stages of our lives and they are such pure and willing partners. What would we do without them?
so very sorry for your loss – for everyone’s loss! There are never good words but Thich Nhat Hanh comes pretty darn close:
This body is not me.
I am not limited by this body.
I am life without boundaries.
I have never been born,
and I have never died.
Look at the ocean and the sky filled with stars,
manifestations from my wondrous True Mind.
Since before time, I have been free.
Birth and death are only doors through which we pass,
sacred thresholds on our journey.
Birth and death are a game of hide-and-seek.
So laugh with me,
hold my hand,
let us say good-bye,
say good-bye, to meet again soon.
We will meet again tomorrow.
We will meet at the source every moment.
We meet each other in all forms of life.
Hi Nancy – thank you for sharing such personal details. I often think, as I find so many dog lovers do, that we are not worthy of dogs’ compassion and trust. Though it’s hard on them too, it’s all a part of being in the pack – and I don’t even know who I would be without mine. Also a childless couple of 19 years married and together an additional 5 before that, we each don’t even know how we would be able to breathe without the other, and I can’t imagine what our dogs would do without their Daddy, just seeing how they are when he comes home a little later than usual from work some nights – sometimes reactive but very clearly expressing that they know what time it is and that things are not right. We weave ourselves into one another’s moments and lives, proving how intrincately a part of eachother we are – and this is to be celebrated as much as it is grieved. I wish you all peace and comfort – and someday again, joy.
Thank you for what you’ve written. It is true for so any life events.
I saw your FB posts about Dean and I’m so sorry.
“I don’t know what any of us would do without dog love.”
Me neither.
I am so glad your sister’s dogs are such a comfort, and so glad yours are too. Take care.
So sorry for all of you enduring such a deep loss. May the good memories overwhelm the grief; my prayers are with you all.
So sorry for your family’s loss. Yes, there is nothing like dog love … any day, every day and when life gets tough. May Otto and Woody give you lots.
I am so sorry to hear of your family’s great loss. May your sister find God’s peace and the strength to continue on, and may all of you find your way through this valley. I hope that your pets and the “barky” pets will all be a source of comfort, even as they are comforted by all the humans around them in their shared loss.
Nancy, my sincere condolences to all of your family.
Nancy, I am so sorry for your loss. When my husband died, Happy’s demanding needs kept me from sinking into my bead and never emerging. He still gives me a reason, every day, to find joy and bask in sunlight. Dogs are a reminder to us, that life IS good, even when it seems darkest.
Hugs
Lynnie