Last week, I was 100% sure I would be having Otto euthanized at today’s appointment with a veterinarian who provides hospice and home-euthanasia services. I won’t beat around the bush; he’s still with us.
There was one important difference between last week and this: The “heat dome” that has kept California roasting for over a week finally broke, and temperatures dropped all the way down into the 80s, a welcome relief from a week with daily highs over 110°F. As dawn broke this morning, we even got a little spotty rain – bizarre for this area and this time of year, but welcome just the same.
As I said in my last post, Otto has never liked heat, and as an old guy, set in his ways, he was super grumpy about not being able to lay in his damp, shady sandbox outside. He didn’t want to be kept indoors (protected from the heat); he wanted to be outside, but outside was just awful! So he was extra miserable.
The veterinarian who came to my home today was impressed by Otto’s insistence at joining the scrum of dogs to greet her at my home-office door, even as young Boone and middle-aged Woody were knocking into him in their effusive greetings. She also was impressed by his intense interest in the treats I gave her to introduce herself to him. He’s also completely continent, in contrast to many of her other patients. Apparently, a lot of the dogs she sees in this type of practice are much closer to the end before their owners call her in, to the point where they won’t get up to greet someone, aren’t eating much, and are in diapers.
That made me feel a little bad; was I being over-anxious, pulling the trigger too soon? Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been at the deathbed of loved ones – humans – who were in hospice care as well as those who were unable to receive hospice care for some reason; I just don’t want anyone I love to suffer before death. I’ve seen deathbed suffering; it’s ugly and unnecessary.
The doctor put some of my fears at ease. We discussed Otto’s panting, which I have interpreted as a symptom of pain and anxiety. She agreed that pain and anxiety could be a factor in his almost non-stop panting, but said something I’ve never heard before, that a lot of old dogs have enlarged livers (as I have been told Otto also has) and that as the liver enlarges, it pushes up against the diaphragm, and requires a little more forceful breathing.
She agreed that his front paws and elbows appear to be paining him quite a bit, and she could see how he has altered his posture to compensate, but thought that the amount of difficulty he shows in getting up from laying down is not too bad. As skinny as his thighs feel to me now, she thought his muscle tone was decent, given his age.
She also made me feel a bit better about the panic I was in last week. She said that a lot of old dogs have good days and bad days, and even good weeks and bad weeks, but that she often sees old dogs who look like they are death’s door bounce back when minor issues are addressed – and that the heat of last week was just pushing him past his ability to tolerate his chronic arthritic discomfort.
We reviewed his medications; he’s currently on omeprazole (for acid reflux), Galliprant (a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory), and Tramadol (a synthetic opioid). She suggested I add gabapentin back into the mix. I have had him on gabapentin before, for many months while he was also being given the Galliprant, but I could not say I ever saw any difference in either his discomfort or sleeping patterns when he was on it. But she thought the third medication might complement the Galliprant and Tramadol together, so I’ll give that a try again.
All in all, even though he seemed so much better today than he did last week, I’m so glad I brought this vet in for this examination and consultation. Given Otto’s lifelong aversion to slippery floors and most dogs’ apprehension to going to a vet’s office, it’s understandable that when I take him to see one of his regular vets, he always looks worse than he does as home, wide-eyed, trembling, and shaky. A month ago, I brought him to see his internal medicine doctor, and she seemed more dubious about his ability to go on than even I was last week. This morning, on his home turf, Otto seemed, for the most part, like a creaky, limpy, lumpy version of his usual unfailingly well-mannered and friendly self – if a little more unselfconscious about begging for treats than he ever used to be. Now this veterinarian will have an idea about his current baseline – where he is now, and what “too much” might look like. And I got some reassurance that I’m not doing to wrong thing by trying to keep him around at least a little longer.
A final note: Thank you all for your comments with support and advice. I read and appreciate every single one. I feel truly honored to be able to share my magnificent Otto with you, and I am grateful for your care and feeling for him more than I can possibly say.
Been a long time subscriber and sharing your dog experiences to my own. Last December I lost my best friend, he was 14+ years, and he meant everything to me. After several months of mourning his loss, both me and my remaining dog (previously my wife’s dog) were tired of the depression that had taken over our lives. I set out to find some new canine energy to pump some energy back into my old bones and bring my nine year old terrier back from brink. Started out looking at local shelters, but I was being very picky because she had been mauled by a neighbor’s dog years earlier and had issues with larger dogs and especially pitbulls. I eventually found a rescue agency and a younger mix breed spayed female that was as scared as any dog I’ve ever seen. She has been a challenge mo question, but such a rewarding one. Watching my old girl fall in love with her new younger sister and showing her the ropes around my half acre backyard. The challenging part is that she is absolutely phobic about dog collars, if she sees one she instantly retreats to her safe spot under the kitchen table in a protected corner of the kitchen. She is so affectionate and WANTS so badly to be loved she loves to be pet and scratched but anything including a slight breeze will send her off to the kitchen. The only time she was totally at ease was out in the my back yard together with her new sister. This girl was the answer to my senior dogs life but her interest is mostly running around with her sister now. I still was missing my canine companion. Through the internet I found a person in a neighboring community with a dog needing to be adopted do to major change in the family dynamic. I scheduled a meet and greet, and when she brought her boy over my new girl hid inside and wouldn’t come outside, but my other girl took about 2 minutes to fall in love with a young boy twice her size. He is just shy of a year and was adopted as an eight week old puppy from the shelter in Solano County, and as such neutered as a pup, so his size and maleness would not become a factor. But from the very start he was a part of the family, and he can’t get enough of being with me. I expected that there would be and adjustment period with him getting use to me and my power wheelchair but no sign of any hesitation. He may be the youngest of the pack but he definitely was the keystone that’s bringing it all together.
As far as the fires and temps go I live in South Napa County and because of the proximity of the Napa River estuary at the top of the San Pablo Bay we usually get a cooling breeze but that week it got up to almost 110 degrees it was impossible. I don’t need AC because it only get crazy hot so infrequently that when it does get that hot fans are a weak substitute for AC but even then it drops down to livable at night unlike in your valley to the east which cooks all day long.
Love hearing about your sweet dogs. Much love to Otto for hanging on so long. Thank you for all of your wonderful articles which I have read for many years now. I have always loved animals and had dogs and cats, however my wonderful rescue has stolen my heart.
I’ve enjoyed reading about Otto for many years. I feel like he’s one of my own : ) I had to have my 16 year old Cairn Terrier put down 14 ears ago & I still miss her SOOO much!! Then my 13 year old mixed breed died when she was 13. And I miss her SOOO much too. I feel your pain. It’s terribly hard to have your beloved dog die-either way : ( I think about you & Otto a lot. And I’m praying for you both. Thanks for keeping us up on Otto & what you are dealing with.
Every time I see Otto’s name in the headline I immediately click to read, and I share with my mom or read out loud to her. I have loved every story you’ve told of him. And now reading your struggles brings such precious, sad memories of the end with my sweet Pearl. Thank you for sharing your journey with him! I feel like I have gotten to know his personality, and I can feel all the love for your amazing Mr. Otto.
Hugs and prayers as you struggle through this with him. xoxo
give him some tumeric for arthritis and colloidol silver for pain. much healthier alternative.
A great hug
You’re a good, loving dog mama. My heart is with you and your two and four legged family.
Nancy, I have always loved to read about Otto. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is hard. We had this same conversation with my vet last Wednesday. You do not want him to be in pain. It is better to do it too early as opposed to too late. Our dog, Louie, has a raging tumor on his tongue. We tried to treat it for a year but it just wasn’t working so we stopped treatment. We are putting him to sleep in 2 days. I used to say euthanize but I now prefer saying putting to sleep. We will be heartbroken but Louie won’t be. I know we are doing the right thing. My thoughts are with you.
Aw, and my thoughts are with you, and all of our readers who are going through this currently.
Otto is both *frisking* like he hasn’t done for many months – as much as a dignified old dog does, going down in a senior-dog play bow, snarking at the young’uns (with a high-waving tail), and cantering a bit more than he was a couple weeks ago – AND ALSO wobbling on those skinny back legs, particularly on turns. I think the re-introduction of gabapentin to the mix is making him feel better, but he has decidedly less strength to enjoy.
All we can do is try to stay tuned into their apparent pain and anxiety and prognosis for a worsening condition (as in your dog’s case) and do our best to protect them from a truly painful and scary death. I would imagine that not being able to eat or drink or even breathe easily with a tongue tumor is pretty awful. I wish you strength and love.
I’m so happy to hear that Otto is still here with you. I really enjoy reading about him and his “brothers/sisters”. Keep us up to date.
Senior dogs sometimes don’t metabolize gabapentin as well as younger dogs and they may need a lower dose. I have two seniors, one is on 100mg twice a day and the other is on 150mg twice a day. With higher doses you might see mobility problems, lowering the dose will usually resolve that. Best wishes.