My cat Yogi was 20 years old, but the very picture of health until a malignant tumor took up residence in his mouth. It grew quickly and began causing Yogi much discomfort – so much so that he wouldn’t eat. I didn’t want my buddy to get to the point of immense suffering.
I moved about a year ago, and had looked for a veterinarian with Fear Free or Low Stress Handling credentials. I found a clinic that advertised itself as a fear-free hospital within an hour’s drive, and had visited the clinic several times without being either impressed or dismayed. I made an appointment to have Yogi euthanized at this clinic.
When the veterinarian entered the examination room, I told him I’d like Yogi to be sedated before the euthanasia drug was administered. He indicated that this was fine, and left the room. He came back with an assistant and a tiny syringe, saying, “This will sting a little but within less than five minutes he’ll be completely sedated, though his eyes will remain open. Are you ready?” I said yes. He then said that after he gave the sedation injection, he’d leave and come back in five minutes to euthanize Yogi.
I’m not new to this procedure, but it never gets easier. As a vet tech, I assisted in the euthanasia of hundreds of pets; I’ve also supported friends, family, and clients during the euthanasia of their pets, and was present when all of my own animals passed. But what I experienced that day haunts me.
Yogi was very weak, had recently stopped eating, and had failing kidneys. Many animals in this condition don’t even notice an injection. I expected that he might feel a little prick and then slowly go to sleep – but that’s not what happened.
When the vet injected the drug into the muscle of Yogi’s hind leg, my cat screamed the loudest meow I’ve ever heard and, with a power he hadn’t displayed in years, thrust himself backward almost off the end of the table. The vet said, “You can let him go.” What?! I heard the words but my protective instinct kicked in; I was not going to let my frail friend crash to the floor! I was able to prevent him from falling off the table, but then he launched himself forward and upward out of my arms, flailing toward the wall. The vet and the tech stepped away from Yogi, as I flew to the other side of the table, catching him mid-air so he wouldn’t crash into the wall. They then excused themselves and left the room!
I sat with a now-comatose cat, limp, with eyes dilated and glassy. I held his fragile, soft, furry body – the same body that had just acted like super cat – and wept. What the hell just happened? I was in shock; the peaceful end I had hoped my friend would experience had instead turned hideously painful and traumatic.
A few minutes later, the vet and tech came back in, to give the final injection in a vein in Yogi’s hind leg. Within a minute, my boy was on his way to getting his wings to soar. As for me, the shock of Yogi’s last moments kept me silent except to say thank you as I picked up Yogi’s lifeless body to take home to bury.
That night, I couldn’t sleep, thinking how I betrayed my companion of 20 years by holding him while someone hurt and terrified him. I couldn’t shake the vision of Yogi’s last moments. Since I’d never experienced such a horrific euthanasia, I thought it was an anomaly – that his reaction was rare – and I vowed to disallow that drug, whatever it was, from being used on any of my animals again.
Horror Redux
Sadly, a few months later I would be facing another end-of-life decision, this time for a dear friend’s pet. My friend had passed away, and her spouse was having a tough time grieving her loss while caring for the special-needs dogs she left behind. In her honor, I asked if I could help care for the two senior dogs: Hopper, a 17-year-old, deaf, blind Chihuahua; and Buddy, a nine-year-old dog who was disabled with a spinal injury. My friend’s husband agreed, and I took them into my home.
It soon became clear to me that Hopper was failing. After a lengthy conversation with my friend’s spouse, we decided that it was time to let Hopper go, before his suffering was unbearable. Since I thought what happened with Yogi was an anomaly, I called the same veterinary practice to make an appointment to euthanize Hopper. Still, I planned to ask the veterinarian to use a different drug to sedate Hopper, so that the experience would be like all the other euthanasias I had witnessed. In addition, when I made the appointment, I asked for a sedative that I could give Hopper before we ever even got to the veterinary hospital; this little guy was blind and deaf and very vulnerable in his dark and silent world, and I wanted to give him all the help I could.
Hopper was very relaxed in my arms as we waited in the exam room. The veterinarian entered, and asked if I wanted to sedate Hopper further before administering the euthanasia drug. I said yes – but added that I didn’t want him to use the same drug that he used with Yogi.
The doctor responded that it should be fine for Hopper, because it’s harder on cats than dogs; just a little prick and in a few minutes he’d be completely sedated. I was stunned, thinking, “Wow, really?! You know it’s harder on cats than dogs and you gave it to my cat anyway?” But at the same time, I had this tiny dog in my arms on the table, not knowing what was going on, unable to see or hear, pressing his body against mine. I didn’t want to prolong the experience. I decided to trust the doctor’s word, that dogs don’t react to this drug like cats do, and since Hopper was already relaxed from the sedative I’d given him, it would be fine. So I said, “Okay, if you think the same thing won’t happen, then it’s time; yes, go ahead.”
I held Hopper while the vet gave the injection into the muscle in Hopper’s hind leg. There was no reaction from Hopper, thank goodness. Phew! The vet left the room.
Five minutes later, Hopper was still sitting in my arms, as awake and relaxed as he had been since we arrived. The vet came back in and looked at Hopper, amazed that he wasn’t fully sedated. “Wow,” said the doctor. “I’ve never seen this before. He’s not sedated at all.”
“No, he’s not,” I said. “Perhaps the syringe was empty?”
The vet looked at me as if I was crazy. He said, “NO, I gave the injection.” I remained silent, having said what I thought to be true, that perhaps the syringe was empty. He said he would go get another injection.
When the vet came back in, I suggested that he inject Hopper’s other hind leg. He agreed, saying, “There must have been no circulation in that other leg and that’s why the first injection didn’t work.”
I held Hopper while the vet gave the injection – and this time, Hopper screamed, became Superman, and started biting at the air. Blind, he was in a state of sheer panic and pain as I held him, snapping wildly. I looked into the vet’s eyes with fire in mine. He left the room, saying he’d be back in five minutes.
The moment the door closed, Hopper collapsed in my arms. I held him close, apologizing to him and crying my eyes out. I couldn’t believe this happened again. I was stricken because I had let Hopper down – I had let down his owner, my deceased friend! I was reliving Yogi’s horrible experience, and beside myself with anger and despair – and it still wasn’t over for Hopper.
Five of the longest minutes later, the vet and the technician came back in. They said nothing as they worked together to insert the needle into a vein and administer the euthanasia drug. I wept quietly, petting Hopper and silently imploring him to forgive me. Hopper’s end, like Yogi’s, wasn’t painless nor fear-free. I felt this was a heinous crime and I was complicit.It was all I could do to drive home afterward, taking deep breaths to calm myself, wiping the tears that kept falling down my face, and talking out loud to both of my deceased friends, Hopper and his owner, the whole way. It was gibberish chatter to help me make it home.
I feel terrible that it took two awful experiences to investigate the drug that caused such pain and terror in the two animals in my care, as well as the credentials behind the “fear free” claim made on the veterinary practice’s website, only to learn that the drug used in this way is not remotely the best protocol, and that no one in the veterinary hospital had any actual training or credentials in fear-free or low-stress handling.
After being upset to the point of immobility for days, I decided that I could, at the very least, try to prevent any other animals from suffering needlessly before being euthanized while their loving guardians witness their pain and terror. I don’t want any animal to go through what mine did, or any guardian to have this haunting memory seared into their minds for the rest of their lives.
I am now on a mission to spread information about ways to do everything a guardian can do to ensure a good death for her beloved animal companions when it’s time.
I learned so much from our rescue dog, Stella. She was kind, loyal, patient, humble. She showered us with love every day and trusted us with all her heart. Her death, like all of these stories, was horrific. This last lesson she left with us was the hardest of all. I learned that day that euthanizing a pet is wrong and that hospice and natural death is the only logical, compassionate, and loving way to help a pet suffering or dying gently. We have been sold a bill of goods under the guise of “compassion” when it is anything but compassionate. Many of us now have to live with PTSD for months and sometimes years after making an intrinsically wrong decision. We filed a detailed complaint with the state’s veterinary board, and they are listening and investigating. I will never decide to take the life of one of our beloved pets ever again. It is never “peaceful,” no matter what the professionals tell you. It’s torture for the animal and for the humans present when the deed is done. I am sure the vets that have to perform this have had to put up a wall around their hearts to survive the awfulness of it all. And yes, you can keep a suffering dog comfortable until they are called back home when it is their natural time to say goodbye. They will go in peace, and your family will be at peace. None of this torture we have all suffered. Our broken hearts are damaged forever because “natural law” is written on the heart, and we all know euthanasia is wrong. Save yourself from the incredible pain and grief that a decision to euthanize a pet brings. There is peace when a dog dies comfortably, at home, naturally. You will never recover from watching a vet shoot your precious pet in the heart to finally stop the screams of pain. Euthanizing a pet does not ease their pain; it takes their pain and multiplies it – explodes it – all over everything, and it never goes away. It’s barbaric. Don’t let anyone tell you anything different.
I had to put my sweet Bella to sleep 3 weeks ago.She was our 14 year old yorkie and she was our world.she had not felt good for a few weeks which we found out was a diffuse liver tumor.We have used out vet for over 20 years for our animals and I had a previous dog who was 15 that had to be euthanized and he went peacefully.Nothing prepared me for Bella’s.This poor little baby ,had had double hip surgery,one eye removed, had a heart condition ,and had beat Lyme 2xs….and you would have never known it to spend a day with her .she made us laugh and she would run everywhere like a flash.she amazed us everyday.
the morning we went to the vets(the vet no longer did home euthanizations) she seemed to b having a good day,which made it all the worse.the car ride …she shook the whole time and kept looking at me to take her as my husband was holding her while i was driving.they brought us back to the euthanization room and gave us some time with her .she sat on my lap eating canned cheese and not knowing what was going to happen.the vet tech came in and asked if we have done this before and we said yes.she said she’d sedate Bella and after 15 to 20 minutes come back with the final shot.The whole time we were expecting the vet to come in at some point…he never did and he had been in the building .the tech came back in with the sedation and we laid Bella on the table on her blanket with her baby stuffed Eeyore she carried everywhere.she gave her the shot in her hind leg ,Bella yelped ,but i didn’t think much of it because it was a needle after all.she left the room and said shed be back in 15 minutes.while we were supposed to be “spending time” with her she had a seizure of some sort.she was alert one minute and than her back little feet were paddling like she was running and her front legs and chest seem stiffened right .I was hugging her telling her she was gonna be alright ,that it was alright and I loved her,my husband was petting her front paws trying to relax her.the tech came back about 10 minutes later …with another tech.I didn’t know why…its like ur in a dream so I didn’t question anything.the tech asked my husband to move towards Bella head on the table and the other tech stood by me.she than uses the needle and Bella yelped …which I didn’t realize she would feel it if she was sedated and I just was stunned…I was in a daze and maybe 3 seconds later Bella literally lifted her head off the table and yelped so loud in pain and all I could do was say”what?”…I was shocked and scared and didn’t know what was happening..than Bella started gurgling and she was gone.the other vet tech had been there to hold my baby down! They left so we could spend more time with her and all I could say is “what the hell was that?” “What??!!”we were completely stunned.no vet either…this poor baby that brought us so much joy for 14 years left here in pain and I’ll never get that out of my head.I have so much guilt ,I feel like I betrayed her trust in me.I’ll never forgive myself .I’ve been reading up on sedation and it can cause seizures , collapsed veins, etc…which makes the final shot painful if its given outside a vein.how is this humane?! And they know this happens when they’re administering these shots.its not right!!we love that little baby with all our hearts …we’ll never forgive ourselves for this.our plan in the coming weeks is to start a petition to change the requirements of euthanasia done in a veterinary office …to require them to tell us of the drugs being used during euthanasia and the side effects and to have an option to use the one a we want to on our animals.Had we been made aware of the side affects of sedation we would have asked for a catheter to b placed and anesthesia used so she would have just went to sleep and the final shot would have been painless for her.I only wish I had known all I’ve read about this before we brought her .she didnt deserve to go like that.
I will try to post a link to the petition when we get it written up in the next few weeks.I have read hundred of horror stories about the pre sedation online.its inhumane.it may work well for some animals but it doesn’t for a lot of them .and as owner we should all have a choice what is given to them on their final day.
Sorry this is so long
I was recently adopted by a stray pregnant cat, who had six kittens. She of course birthed them in some hidden spot on my property and revealed them to me at about 5 1/2 weeks. I managed to capture them all to keep them safe in my house.
One of the kittens was very tiny and not thriving. He was the brave one of the litter, the first one that would just walk right up to me without fear. Many times I had picked him up and put him close to his mother, but he would turn around and walk right back over and sit on me instead. He was amazing. But he was obviously suffering from some health problem which I originally thought was just malnutrition from being a runt.
At 7 weeks he took a turn for the worse. I had to take him to an emergency vet just last night. They tried all night and morning to try to nurse him back to health. But to no avail, he wasn’t improving. He couldn’t stand up on his own, couldn’t regulate his own body temperature without help, pupils were two different sizes, and a host of other bad signs. We made the decision to euthanize. During the first shot, the weak little kitten suddenly stood up abruptly on all four legs. He didn’t cry out or try to run. But I was very shocked and surprised that he suddenly got up and appeared normal for a few seconds before the shot took full effect. I’ve been bothered by this all day, wondering if I had made the wrong decision, or decided too early to put him down. This article and all these comments are painful to read, but I am grateful to have found them because now I believe that what happened was the same thing everyone else is describing, that he had an unexpected reaction to the same drug.
The vet was very kind, polite, and professional. But he was also very young and I suspected probably never heard of this problem with that drug. Ultimately I know in my heart that the kitten wouldn’t have gotten better, that he would’ve continued to be weak and sickly, and ultimately I didn’t want him to suffer. But if I have to euthanize again in the future I will not go back to that clinic. I have euthanized pets at other places by other vets, and never had that reaction with an animal before. I hope that someday I can forget it enough that it won’t bother me as much as it does now.
On 9/14/22 I put my cat down. That was nine days ago. She was a 16 year old rescue that I had for 15 years. Her name was Abby. My vet took her and put a IV line (cannula) in her front leg and taped it in place.. I’m sure she was scared but she was very sick. She was out my sight for two minutes and they brought her back into the room. The vet came in and shot her up with an anesthetic which put her out and then told me to open the door when I was ready for the final shot of pentobarbital. After crying and petting her for about 10 minutes I regained my composure and said it’s time. It was quick and painless. I have had three dogs put down in my life and none were sedated. All were just put down with Fatal-Plus. They are gone in 10 seconds max, the drug works quickly. Know your vet and what they use. If it’s blue it’s called Fatal-Plus and if it’s pink it’s Euthasol. My vet has always used Fatal-Plus. Anyway the meds always go into a vein which is drawn for blood and then flushed with saline so they know they have a vein. Many years ago my sister had an experience with her cat that echoes what I have read in these posts. For everyone that feels or felt guilty, you had no idea that it would go badly. Forgive yourself, you didn’t know that would happen.
My cat went as peacefully as possible and I’m still in a haze after 9 days.
I just put my beloved Maltese down September 9th and I am not in very good shape to talk about it yet. I just cry and feel so guilty that he had such a terrible death. It took about two hours for him to pass. He hurt his leg so I took him to the vet hospital. He had an enlarged heart since he was 10 years old and I gave him vetmedin twice a day and lasix and benazapril too. He was in my bed with me 24 hours a day and I loved him more than anything in the world. I asked the vet to sedate him before he put the drug in him to stop his heart. He put a catheter in both front legs and said he couldn’t get his veins after 2 shots and Bubba sat upright both times and they took him to the other room and brought him back to me and then they shaved his chest and put about 2 more shots in there which made him puke 2 times and the vet said he would. I was crying and in shock and I wanted to take him and run out of there but wasn’t sure if he would die in the process. The vet said he never saw anything like that before and I think he was in a hurry. He came back in and gave him more shots and then one or 2 in his heart. My baby was still breathing a little through his nose and his tongue was hanging out. I called the main veterinary office and told them what happened and they said the other vet that put my other dog down before was on vacation and she did a wonderful job and my other dog went quickly and painlessly. I can’t stop crying and I don’t know if my baby suffered a lot of pain And I will never forgive myself for not taking him home with me. I wish I could do something to hurt the vet the way he hurt my baby. I am afraid he will hurt another pet like he did mine.
I’ve read all the very sad horror stories here. I think we should be doing something about this….bringing lawsuits against these doctors, broadcasting these stories across the internet, tell everyone you know, and anything else we can think of. Our sweet pets/animals deserve much better than this.
The lesson here that I recently learned with my dog at a vet hospital is follow your gut and listen to it. If someone hurts your pet do not go back, ever. I took my dog to a hospital and after a cursory exam and zilch history, comes in to say “Your dog is critical and is going to die” I told her if she expects the dog to die I do not want her treating him. The dog did die in one hour. The dog was under so much stress, hemorrhagic diarrhea and urinating on himself from stress, he died suddenly, not even from the reason I brought him there. My dog was able to walk, jump out of the car, was not breathing hard, not vomiting, not foaming at the mouth. He had probably an irregular heartbeat and tachycardia which she totally missed. I asked her how much experience she had and she said “I’m not telling you” I found out later she was trained in Canada and had less than a year experienced. My dog was tortured and died alone. I should have followed my gut and taken him home soon as she said he was going to die. I brought him there to be treated and if she thought he was going to die (my local vet said he would have given the dog lasix and he would be fine but the emergency vet was a white coat nincompoop . Then she racks up a 900 dollar bill when she said he was going to die. So follow the gut folks, it picks up stuff our brains push aside
Hello, the pre-euthanasia anesthetics are only supposed to be delivered intravenously. Due to their pH, they are never supposed to be injected into the animals muscle, as this causes an extreme burning sensation.
If the IV slips out of the vein, the solution will touch the tissue, and this will burn as well.
From what I understand, the pre-euthanasia anesthetics are used for ease of pet parents, as they are supposed to reduce the animal’s bodily reactions to the euthanasia. From what I’ve read, they burn/hurt more than the euthanasia itself.
The single dose euthanasia without the PreMix anesthetics is more humane. It also should only be given intravenously and only in the muscle if the animal received prior anesthetics, as these too would cause a burning sensation/pain when given injected into the muscle.
I took my cat for euthanasia yesterday, I’m distressed wondering if she really died. right after giving the sedative in a few seconds the vet moved on to the final injection. He gave two doses of the final injection. I stayed with her for about 10 minutes and then the woman came to collect. I feel stupid for not changing my mind and taking the cat with me and looking at him for hours to confirm he passed away. Can anyone reading my story tell me how long it took for the doctor to certify the death? Can you tell if saliva came out of your mouth in the next few minutes?
They normally use their stethoscopes.
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